I have been thinking a lot lately. Josh says that me thinking can become dangerous. I'm not sure about that one. Well, I decided to post some of my thoughts and see what others have to say. Some are really weird while others are normal for someone like me.
1. Student Teaching: I will start student teaching on Monday. I cannot wait. However, I'm really nervous. What do I do for lunch? What happens if my teacher gets sick of me? Can that happen? I will be with them for 8 hours a day, five days a week, for the next sixteen weeks. What happens if I get bored observing for the first two weeks? That is going to be the longest 2 weeks of my life. I'm not nervous to work with middle school students or to even teach them. That is nothing compared to everything else.
2. Weddings: My best friend from high school got married yesterday. I'm happy for her. She deserves to be happy with the man that she loves. But for some reason I cannot get a nagging feeling out of my mind. For some reason I'm just disturbed about her being married. I gave her a great present. It is worth a lot of money but I don't think she'll like it. Me and Karen both gave her a lot of food. That is always the worst part about getting married.. going to the grocery store for the first time... I got lucky that I started preparing early. She is one of those people that I worry about liking it for some reason.
3. Easy living: I know that people cover things up all of the time but how do they do it? It seems that every one's lives are so easy but mine isn't. Shannon, my friend that just got married has it easy. Her parents paid for this amazing wedding and she won't have to pay rent for the first year because they are going to be living with his mom. Yeah, I wouldn't want to live with a family member after I first got married, but that just means that she can do more frivolous things than I can. I feel as though I'm being punished for something that I am trying to do right. Is that weird? Anyway, I know that I don't hear about all the ups and downs of everybody's lives but for some reason, in my mind, everyone has it better than me.
4. Friends: I know that my cousin Emily has posted about this before but I'm going to do this anyway. I feel as though I have no friends. My sisters are some of my best friends, along with my parents and Josh. But I would like to have some friends that are not family members. I would love to invite some people over for dinner but I feel that since they already have other friends... why would they want to come over to my house? I could hang out with some of my old high school friends but honestly we are in two different worlds now and it is difficult for me to be around them.
5. House Warming Party: This is the last one... I promise. Five is a good even number. I've been thinking about having a house warming party. I would invite a few people over and we can get together and play games and eat a lot of good food. I only have one major problem with that. Who would I invite? What "friends" (if you didn't read number 4, I would do so now). Would people think that I am a dork for just wanting to play games? I don't want people to think that I am lame.
Anyway, if you have any comments to help me settle these thoughts that would be great. Josh has helped me a little but I still cannot get some nagging things off of my mind. Overall, yes, I have issues.
2 comments:
Oh Emily, I feel alot the same as you do :). And with a baby on the way, things are going to keep changing more and more. I especially know how you feel about the friend thing. We had made some good friends in teh ward, but they just moved back to Utah, so we're lonely again. I don't think eople will think you are dumb for wanting to play games. I think it's a good way for people to get to know each other and just relax :) Go for the house warming party! It sounds fun :) Happy New Year!
I think your #3 is a little ironic. I must admit that when you announced that you were buying a house, I thought "What? They haven't even been married a year and they already get their own house? That's not fair. They have it easy." So maybe it wasn't those exact words, but you get the idea. It's so easy to look past our own blessing when we're checking out other people's green grass. We all do it. You're not alone. Funny how it's so much easier to see others' blessing than our own. It's also much easier to see our own sacrifices and hardships than the ones other people go through.
I would totally invite people over to play games!
You'll be a great student teacher! I always wonder and worry about things too, but I'm sure it will be even better than you expect.
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