Over the last month or two I have been feeling a little too much. I've been going through a lot and I'll admit that I'm still trying to process and adjust to everything. I love my life and everything and everyone in it but I guess that I'm still process what has happened in the last 5 months. Because in the last 5 months...

-Tori was born. (which it still amazes me that she is almost 5 months)
-Josh got called to be the 2nd counselor in the Elder's Quarm Presidency (4 days after Tori was born).
- Josh and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary.
- Took Tori to the doctor about 12 times.
- Josh got made full time at his job. (which is totally awesome!)
- I resigned from my teaching job.
- Went through a HUGE ordeal with Josh (which I'm not going to go into detail about).
- Helped Josh's dad change his life around.
- Freaked out because in my mom's PET scan that she had a few weeks ago found something. (But the bone scan didn't so that is good).
There probably is a lot more, which I probably can't remember at the moment.

Life has been crazy. Don't get me wrong, I completely LOVE it. I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my little girl. I love watching Josh play and interact with her. I don't know what I would do without Josh and I love him for always being there for me. I love watching Jack Jack get overly excited in the morning when I start to put Tori in the stroller (he knows he is going for a walk). However, despite the fact that I love my life, I sometimes feel left behind. I don't get to get out much. I'll admit that. My life now revolves around nap times and bed times and it is really hard. Josh and I don't get to go out on dates much because of his schedule and it totally SUCKS. The only time I really get to spend with him is when we read scriptures together every night. I love that, but sometimes I would love to get out of the house with him. I know many people are willing to watch Tori while we go out but because of Josh's schedule it makes everything A LOT more difficult. Because of this, I feel so incredibly behind everyone. I can't keep up anymore. Yeah, it sucks and I know that I'm doing what I should be doing but sometimes it is hard. I'll admit, I knew that being a mom was going to be difficult but you never know what it is really like until you have a sweet little baby of your own. Like I said, I don't regret having a baby and I love her to death, I guess that the changes that have occurred due to this and along with everything else in my life over the past five months have left me a little overwhelmed. Maybe after some more time I will adjust and process the changes that have occurred. However, right now I have to take it one day at a time.